How to be happy when you don’t want to be
“How do I be happy when I don’t want to be ?”
“I feel like everything is just falling apart and my life isn’t going anywhere”
“I just want to escape”
“I cannot live like this anymore, I don’t even know what I feel any more”
“I am scared of being happy because I feel like I cry every time I get a little happy ”
Do you feel the same way? So you are one of us? Wondering where did it all go wrong? When did it start and how did you even reach this place? You would run away any moment but only if this room had an exit! It’s just four walls where your own thoughts ricochet off the walls and bounce back at you over and over again like a song on loop. You just sit there, wondering why, why isn’t your happiness finding you. Why isn’t it coming to you? Why are you always sad? So tired aren’t you?
This happiness, that you are trying to seek from the surrounding, is right inside of you. It will just need little effort and trust me once you get a taste of how easy it is to be happy, you won’t stop having this meal.
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Now, I do not want to overwhelm you so we will take baby steps. These four steps are very important and will be your base for finding your happiness. Try to do the following for one week. Remember, your happiness is right there within you, you are just trying to find it and feel it again. You have had enough, it’s your time now :).
- Leave a space that is taking away your peace
Abusive parents or relationships, toxic friends, never-treating-us-right social media? What is taking away your peace? what always puts you in turmoil? Is it a place? a place where you had your breakup, a mishap you cannot forget? where you were bullied? Anything, any person or place, irrespective of what history you have with it, it’s time you understand, you have to step beyond it. It’s very important to understand, I am not asking you to “avoid” or “run away” from these people or places because that would give you temporary relief, not happiness. Your long-term lasting happiness comes from you accepting your surroundings and environment and moving a step beyond that. You are leaving what’s harming you behind, not by escaping, but by facing it and defeating it.
2. Do things you enjoy a little more
I know you don’t even enjoy the things that once made you happy, I understand. Your body remembers every attempt you made to be happy but failed which made you feel dejected and now this very genius body of yours is wearing a woebegone attire in the hope you wouldn’t make another fail attempt and be downcast. It’s trying to protect you but you don’t need this protection. You need to break this shield and come out strong and show that if you really put your mind in this process; you can be happy. Pick up that paintbrush, that old book, that little piano, your knitting kit, skates catching dust in a cabinet, do whatever you want for 30 minutes to 2 hours every day.
3. Make one person smile a day
Ever felt heavy in your chest? Like you need to do something but you are not sure what? Like your life has no purpose and no one probably likes you or wants you. Here, you are letting your feelings control you. Don’t let that happen, you want a purpose? you want a reason to live? You make one person smile a day. But how can you do that? When I felt low, I realized there must be others feeling the same too. I would go to #sad, #anxiety, or #depression on Instagram and scroll through comments on the posts. I would text people who commented on something sad asking them if they are okay and they could talk to me. Some replied some didn’t. But the some that did reply, really needed me. My text made their day and most of them are my mates now. It’s such a satisfying feeling that yes, because of me, a person felt happy. Imagine every broken person trying to heal another broken person, this world would be such a beautiful place.
4. Journal your week
This is a new journey, to a more positive and happier you. Make sure to note down each and every day of this process. Pen down everything you felt when you did something that made you happy or when you made a complete stranger or friend happy? This journal is all about how you are feeling. The reason for this? You will know it by the end of your week.
Good Luck.
Hopefully, your healer.
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